Riesling & Lobster Rolls

For those of you who live in Brooklyn and either live in Red Hook or own one of the following: bike, motorcycle or car - you now have access to some very very tasty lobsters. The place is The Lobster Pound on Van Brunt St. - the main drag of Red Hook - and you'll be looking for a nice bit of punnery in their sign: a lobster hooked to a tow truck which is trés apropos for Red Hook as you well know if you've ever had your car towed. Anyway, these nice folks have excellent lobster and are the kind of people your relatively happy to give your hard earned TARP money to. At $9.50 per pound (yesterday), The Pound's price was only 51 cents higher than Fairway down the street and the lobsters at Fairway are the softshell kind that are raised in the aqua-projects in the Bronx - not comparable. If you think all lobsters are created equally, you are sorely mistaken. The Lobster Pound lobsters were extremely feisty - this is something you absolutely want in your lobster. The lobsters at Fairway are generally a lethargic bunch, like midwesterners after brunch at The Country Buffet - you could probably boil these people to death and they wouldn't notice either.

We returned home with 3 pound and a half lobsters for $42 and prepped the backyard for some guests. I always steam my lobsters - it's quick and easy and takes between 6 - 10 minutes depending on how many lobsters you've stuffed into your pot. I put about 2 inches of water into a large lobster part and then put a metal rack perched on a small collander to keep the lobsters out of the water. This is important because if the cold lobsters go in the water, it takes a long time to get the water boiling again and defeats the purpose of steaming. Once the water is boiling, plop those suckers into the pot and put the lid on. If you listen really carefully, you can actually hear them initially enjoying the sauna and then they start to wonder why they're really in there, and then it's too late. When done, the lobsters will be bright red and if you're in doubt, pull on an antennae and it should pull out with a little effort - not fall off on it's own, but a slight tug. Plop them in a bowl and let them cool - you can also dip them in an ice water bath if your guest are on the way. Once cool enough to handle, extract all the meat and DO NOT FORGET THE LOBSTER FAT. That's the white blobby stuff and it add FLAY-VORE! Also do not exclude body meat extraction as there is some very sweet crab-like meat in the catacombs above the legs. I add a little mayo salt and pepper to the mix and put it in the fridge.

Whence your guests have had some time to anticipate the fact that you are serving them lobster on your dime, throw some hot dog buns on the grill - I favor top split or New England style buns that offer ample exposed un-crusted bun to apply grill marks to. Lightly toast the buns and just jam pack those buns with lobster meat making sure that a few lower claw pieces and knuckles sit proud over the bun proving that you have not padded one lobster with some sea leg from the Japanese supermarket. I spritz a little lemon and tobasco on my lobster roll and am a very happy camper.

Now this is the important part: pull a bottle of OCD Riesling out of the fridge and pour a glass for all. Take a small sip at the toast to wake up the buds and then take a gnarly bit o' lobster roll and wash that down with a larger sip of Riesling. These two things in the accompaniment of summer are truly Wonder Twins. While it may seem expensive to make lobster rolls, this very packed lobster roll would cost anywhere from $15 to $28 out and about in NYC - so it's really a bargain when you consider that and it's kind of an adventure to get the lobsters and cook them. One thing is for certain - you guests will appreciate you more when you serve them lobster and OCD - especially if your normally an unrepentant asshole.