I passed a nice wine shop today

...and all I could smell was dog piss. I live in Brooklyn and tend to think it's shittier here in some ways, than Manhattan. Well, today, I was cruising through the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and remarkably, the whole god damned area smells like dog piss. And these are rich people who ostensibly went to college and know better than to turn their whole neighborhood into a dog toilet. The urine smell was bad enough, but there were schmears of poo all over the place where the well-heeled or their help attempted to clean up little Coconut's high-protein-diet-loose-stool. It's a one-two punch: rich people feed their dogs rich food, which is terrible for the dog, but they love it (see humans; dietary problems) and then they pooze it like soft serve. Great. Now the person attempts to clean it up but is only able to schmear it along and paint the sidewalk brown as they attempt to gain purchase of something that is so elusive to grip: soft dog mess. I'll dispense with the 'curb your dog' rules because it's plainly obvious that dragging an 8 lb dog 4 feet is beyond the physical capabilities of the average do-nothing upper east side female and certainly beyond the pay grade of the help being forced into canine servitude - they're pretty much like, 'oh, look at little Marmalaide, spreading some love for the rich assholes to step in.' Well fuck you! I walk the streets too and I may act like an asshole sometimes but I am not rich and I do not look down on the help, though I might if I had any (not true. I'd bend over backward so they didn't feel bad so I didn't feel bad, thus rendering them ineffective help, and then I'd be too chicken to fire them making the whole situation terrible as I suspected they were stealing everything).

I know I keep harping on the dog shit situation, but seriously - why is it so hard to be a responsible dog owner. I'm gonna make it simple. Dogs are to poo and pee in the gutter (that's the street for y'all slow bitches). And THEN, you pick it it up! Voila! You should also carry a pee-squeegee to soak up the urine, but this, I realize is a fantasy.

The wine shop looked really nice, BTW. Had two (no shit! Two!) chandeliers. Too bad there was a dog peeing on the door when I walked by...