Hey you, sitting in a cafe on your laptop: fuck you.

Let's see...what should I do today? Oh, I got it, I'll head down to my local coffee spot and sip one fucking cup of coffee while using the free wi fi. Oh and I won't talk to anyone or move for 6 hours. Yup. And one more thing, my computer battery sucks, so you don't mind if I just plug my computer in behind you, do you? Of course not! Shit, why don't you bring all your rechargeable devices and plug them all in and put them on my lap. They'll keep my peen nice and warm, thank you very much. BTW, I'm terribly sorry my son said hi to you 8 times. He's just being friendly and trying to strike up conversation in what was formerly a pretty social place. I see you've got your laptop (a fucking Dell? What are you poor?) and you are prolly IMing with Steven Soderberg about writing Sex Lies and Netflix, the sequel to his bravura debut, Sex Lies and Videotape. Aren't you clever. I bet you even have a blog where you write about your fascinating life of sitting in cafes on your Dell Experion with it's Lithium Ion battery sticker advertising it has a Lithium Ion battery. FAN -CEE! Wooo. Blog writers are like the dog shit that gets stuck in the channels of your rugged soul - that was poetic. Maybe I should head over to the cafe with my MacBook and join the saddening crowd.