More Croquet Chat - New BCDC Logo unveiled at Gala!

The ice sculpture of a single blade of our club's proprietary hybrid of Zoysia and Bermuda grass was slowing dripping its life away amidst the boisterous clatter of a bunch of croquet heads pounding Mallet Mashes (BCDC signature cocktail) whilst talking trash away from the pitch. Adding to the general cacophony was Die Valkyrie on a loop at deafening levels, all members idiotically thinking it was anthemizing their pre-season attack dialogue (when in fact the song belonged exclusively to The Course Whisperer as per a fine print clause in the contract all members had blindly signed after a few MMs at his Bed Stuy Atelier one snowy evening in 2009). Like the game, it's all details and angles. Why were we gathered at this exclusive fete in the rec room of the Bedford Armory on Sumner Avenue? It was an unveiling of the exciting new logo of the BCDC. This new icon does not replace our classic original logo, but provides an alternate logo that appeals to a different design aesthetic, namely the 60s Espresso machine aficionado crowd, which dovetails into the vintage Ducati crowd, which tolerates the vintage Lambretta crowd, which lassos the Rock Steady kids, which of course pulls in the Vinyl collector, arcane rare groove crowd. I like all these people, so lets welcome our new logo and our new potential members.

If you'd like a tee with this logo on it, email me and I'll make you one, in the aforementioned atelier. Word.

There's 10 inches of snow on the ground - let's talk CROQUET!!!

Some of you may know that the Communal Brands winos like to unwind with unflinchingly vicious croquet when possible. There have been t-shirts made to prove that we can wear t-shirts...and of course validate our fledgling club. The club is called the BCDC which stands for Brooklyn Croquet and Drinking Club and we generally play in Prospect Park, but have artfully arranged wickets in Long Island and the Catskills as well for the purpose of humiliation and bragging rights. People who even have an inkling of what croquet is about generally think it's about putting a ball through a metal arch sunk into the grass. This is true, but the arch is called a wicket and the balls are called balls and one utilizes a mallet, gripped appropriately to perform this task. What is more true is that putting the ball through the wicket is actually secondary to the primary task: preventing your opponents from doing aforementioned wicket transcendence. The art of screwing other players on the grass is really where the rubber hits the road when it comes to good times at a BCDC outing and if you've got a vein of wicked running somewhere through your corpus, you'll find croquet very deeply satisfying.

Sooooo, while we've been happily smacking each others balls in Brooklyn, NY, thinking we were clever AND cute to be playing such a quaint game, we've been blithely ignoring our rival Brooklyn Croquet Club that's been around a lot longer than us in, can you guess where? Fucking right! New Zealand! Can you believe it? Here we are, being led on the pitch by our stalwart Kiwi cock-of-the-walk croquet master, Dan Saunders, aka Mr. Through & Screw, and all the while there's a Kiwi club called the Brooklyn Croquet Club!

Upshot: I hereby challenge, on all the rights and authority of being a founding member and creative director of the BCDC, also known to those who matter as The Course Whisperer...where was I, oh yeah, I challenge The Brooklyn Croquet Club to a round in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, NY, USA on June 12th at 1 PM in the Great Meadow. Let's see if these turkeys show up!

My mandatory 1 year blogging ban has been served!

Who knew that if you published a video of a suggested romance between a turkey and a bottle of wine, a uproar of disproportionate size would result? I was a facking joke, for Christ's sake! Be warned: those PETA freaks do not take kindly to even the hint of exploitation - heck, I thought I was actually giving this turkey a pretty exciting day leading up to his inevitable decapitation, decavitation and third-party degustation! It's like putting a terminally ill kid into an action movie and using him like a crash test dummy - what's the harm? Especially if he has a lark doing doing it? Our country is so chock full of people who know better (usually I'm one of them), it's amazing anyone is still thinking for themselves. I salute you, Otto, for still being the master of your own grey matter, even if you do use it so very narrowly - excluding that sick corner that covets Turkey love! What other dark corners do you possess? Hmmmmmmmm.

Well, I suppose you learn something every year. I've taken a closer gander at Otto and sure enough. You know, you think you know somebody...