Otto's Protest Pays Off

So the New York State legislature came out on the right side of things over the weekend and decided that supermarkets selling wine was not a good idea. While good news to all wine lovers and their agents (local wine merchants), it was perilously close to going the other way - and by other way, I mean wine being turned into a commodity, stripped of personality and nuance. We as country continue a lock-step march towards banality as the masses continue to dope themselves up on fast food, fried snacks and now Red Bull. Putting wine in supermarkets would have lowered the bar for wine consumption and undoubtedly hurt liquor stores and wine stores. For many it would have been a critical blow - not to be recovered from - and leaving a gaping wound of yet another empty retail space with nothing capable of capturing enough public interest to be viable. Let's face it, the boutique store is a very endangered species right now and there are lots of lovely boutique wine shops filled with lovely wine connoisseurs waiting to help you pick out that perfect bottle to accentuate and elevate your evening. Picture that same wine in the supermarket - the gallon price tacked to the shelf edge leaving you to do the math on your 750 ml bottle - how much is this? So you ask Brittney, who's stocking the shelves, if she knows the price. She tells you that she only knows that a six pack of Mikes Hard Lemonade is $8.50 and tastes amazing. You're on your own with the wine. Thank God Brittney's not my new wine go-to-gal.

Sauvignon Blanc Bottle...

The Dream becomes Reality...

So, the wine, as I've posted, is very close to being here. Arch sales maven, Mike Barry, is upgrading the suspension on his motorcycle side car to help carry all the samples up and down the East Coast. Melissa Saunders, General Manager, is busy overseeing the million details that go into producing and launching your very own wine brand all the while skipping around the globe visiting possible future partner vineyards and expanding relationships with winemakers (as well as promoting OCD, natch!). Daniel Saunders, Finance & Strategy, is hard at work keeping the money straight and our operating strategy tight as a kettle drum - no small feat. Chris Antista (The Horse's Mouth), Creative Director, is figuring out how to make a cool website on a shoestring budget and how to tailor our message of old school, grass roots, convivial wine connoisseurship to todays market that appears to demand slavish devotion to Web/Twitter/Blog/eBlast/Facebook obsessiveness. While I agree these tools are useful, I can only agree that that's true only if the content of the aforementioned vehicles is enjoyable by the recipient - otherwise it's just spam. I get enough messages thrown at me everyday as every other non-cave-dwelling individual on this planet. We're all struggling to stay plugged in lest some generation of cyborgian computer-weened mutant kids runs us over before we get a chance to KEEP IT REAL. So what the hell am I saying? I'm going to send you the occasional email. I am going to occasional send you a link. I am occasionally going to tap OCD's friends on Facebook. When I do, though, it's going to be to share something, make you laugh, invite you to drink some wine on us or maybe just to go play some croquet and drink some wine on us. Wine is fun to drink. Wine should be fun to talk about, look at, discuss and mostly to share. We've got enough to worry about every day - let's engage in some escapist enjoyment with our friend Otto at the helm.

I've got to finish the website. I've got to produce sales material for Mike. I've got to make this whole dream work, because it's become reality now. There's 87,000 bottles of OCD heading this way and we're going to sell the all. Along the way, it is my new dream that everyone gets a little something else out of their OCD experience, as well. A lot of this is up to you, but hopefully we can inspire some with our dream. I'd love to hear back as we go.

Hullo there, Gorgeous!

So after much haranguing, hoop jumping, animal husbanding, calling card calling, beging/borrowing/stealing, browbeating, conversating, deciding, pontificating and wine drinking - our bottles are slowly washing up on our shores. Our handsome lad of a wine looks so regal on his open weave estate label and his matte finish ensures that nary a stray beam of color-sick flourescent lighting bounces off our label and touches your sensitive corneas. Good lighting doesn't hum...though I do enjoy the occasional 500 watt sodium vapor lamp in the right situation (must be those rainy Sundays spent skateboarding in parking garages in New Jersey so many years ago...alas). Back to the bottle. Not just another face in the crowd, this bottle. Intriguing, beautiful and enigmatic - OCD must be picked up to start to understand where we are coming from. We want to start a relationship between OCD and his acolytes. This starts by revealing only a little at time - first it's just a glance: yup he's looking at you. Then you pick him up and give a once over: now you know his name. OK, take him home with you, open him up and discover the next part of the story: excellent juice. Take a real gander at the label while drinking and we think you'll get the whole thing and hey, even if you don't, just love the wine. You only have to get as involved as you want - Otto's easy like that. No hard feelings.

There are NO Koala bears in New Zealand

I have found out through the grapevine that there are NO Koala bears in New Zealand! Can you imagine a country with no Koala bears!!! I mean, is there not one cuddly, razor-sharp clawed, luv-muffin of a Koala anywhere in New Zealand? No Zoo has a Koala bear in it? Is there no drug lord with a private menagerie containing one little Koala bear named Koca? The news that there is no Koala bear in New Zealand was gotten from a Kiwi, indirectly, and I sensed a huffy tone as well, perhaps because the Aussie's have sooooo many adorable animals, the Koala amongst them, and the Kiwis have, well, duh, Kiwis - there not just the people you know! The Kiwi is a flightless bird that mostly begs food from people exiting pizza parlors. I can start to see why someone would be upset about the Koala thing - it wasn't because I was being an ignoramus, it was because the people of New Zealand would really like a Koala bear of their very own. To that end I give you Koolio the Koala. No, he doesn't rap, chuckle chuckle chuckle - he's just so full of personality that they called him Koolio growing up. So this guy's for you, New Zealand, as a thank you for making so much kick ass wine and for growing the grapes for our OCD varietals -- Koolio likes a little Syrah occasionally, don'cha buddy?

Insanely Delicious Ancho Braised Short Rib Tacos

Pontification mode: off. Food mode: on.

One of the great joys of wine knowledge is the ability to pair with food so expertly that each heightens the enjoyment of the other. While our boy Otto spends most of his time dreaming of wine, one must not lose focus on the FOOD.

To this end, I share something I created the other night and I'll keep it as simple as I can. This recipe is a testament to having some interesting dried ingredients in constant supply in your kitchen and as the idea of eating dinner out continues to be bashed as the bastion of the bourgeoisie (though technically middle class, the b-word is usually associated with the affluent due to it's derivation from bougeois, french for townsmen - which was more akin to nobleman vs. peasant in the middle ages as the townsmen were land owners and capitalists). Am I a digresser or what! Tangent! Tangent!

My wife is pregnant and constantly craves flavor packed ethnic foods and to that end I am re-jiggering my kitchen tricks to include more spices and techniques to evoke more pizazz out of the oft-eaten dishes at our house. The braised short rib has been a constant dinner party trick and every couple of weeks kind of meal since it's rise to standard on every new American menu in NYC 10 years ago. It's also a very easy dish with tons of wow factor deliciousness. Here's my Pregnant Wife Craving Tacos recipe.

2 lbs thick beef short ribs
1 Large Onion, chopped coarsely
1/4 cup of Golden Raisins
3 dried Ancho chiles (available at any mexican market or better grocery)
1/4 cup of pignoli nuts (optional - especially if you've henpecked your child into having a psychosomatic nut allergy)
1 whole Star Anise pod
4 whole Cloves
1 Tsp. Coriander Seeds
2 Whole Cardamom Seeds
1/2 Tsp. Peppercorns
Any other spices you think would be awesome (chili powder, cumin, cayenne pepper etc.)
3 bay leaves
3 whole Jalapeños
1 head of garlic - remove just the loose skin and cut top off whole head, exposing some of the cloves
Corn tortillas
Guacamole - three ripe avocados, 1/4 cup packed diced Cilantro, 1 Tsp Lime juice, sea salt and pepper to taste
I add a de-seeded and diced jalapeño for kick. Mash all with a fork.
Shredded Red Cabbage.

Beans - recipe to follow

OK - Get a Creuset Dutch Oven or the like hot on the stove with some olive oil. Place your Short Ribs in the pot and brown on all sides. The short ribs can be fresh from the butcher or outta the freezer - matters not, but I do defrost them for a bit in the microwave prior to browning if frozen. Ohhh, bite me Alice Waters!!!

While browning ribs, toss one ancho chile, the nuts and all other spices listed into a coffee bean grinder or mini food processor and grind all that stuff up - it's going to make a redish, densely packed powder (because of the oil in the nuts). Scrape all that goodness out into a sauté pan and slightly toast the spice powder/paste. Keep an eye on this as it can go from toasted to just toast in a very short time and burnt is not a good flavor profile.

Turn oven on and set to 300 to 325

Once Short Ribs are brown on all sides (5 - 15 minutes depending on your idea of brown), toss in the onions and deglaze the pot with a splash of the beer. Use a wooden spoon to push things around and scrape up the bits on the bottom of the pan so they integrate with the onions and the liquid.

Once the onions are soft, throw some sea salt in the pot (I do a few pinches, you can do it to your sodium delight), crank some pepper in there, toss in the Garlic head, 2 whole dried ancho chiles, the raisins, 3 whole jalapeños, the rest of the beer and the toasted spice powder. I usually add enough water or beer or beef stock or vegetable stock at that point to not quite cover the ribs and I bring the whole mixture to a boil.

Once boiling, reduce to simmer for 15 minutes (for no good reason, really), then put the lid on it and place it in oven. Leave it in the oven for at least 3 hours, checking on it every hour and for the final hour with the lid removed so you can greatly reduce the liquid.

Towards the end of this operation, I make the Guacamole per the above recipe, make some rice (just because), and I prepare the beans. This is weekday home cooking so I use canned beans - cheap, delicious and easy.

Beans: In a small saucepan, brown a clove of garlic in some olive oil, add the beans and any liquid in the can. Throw in some salt and pepper, diced cilantro, half of a chopped onion, some tabasco, and about a half cup of the liquid from the ribs. Let simmer for 20 minutes being careful not to burn the bottom. This needs stirring fairly often.

The Ribs should pretty much fall right off the bones if they haven't already when done. I remove the Ribs, jalapeños and garlic head from the pot and then turn up the heat and reduce what's left of the liquid to a sauce consistency. You may want to skim the fat before you do this...I don't. Transfer sauce to a bowl for drizzling over taco.

Don't forget your shredded raw Red Cabbage - I use a mandolin to make a snazzy frazzle of crisp red freshness for the taco

ALSO - do not forget lime wedges to be squeezed onto the these for an acidic counterpoint to the savory overload the meat can be.

Assembly:

I usually toss the corn tortillas on the gas burners to heat as we eat, one at a time. This produces a hot, slightly charred, delicious host for the contents you've cooked. It also slows your roll a little and forces you to pace yourself which is good when something is this GD delicious.

My way: Tortilla, strip of sour cream, strip of guacamolé, rib meat (commensurate with tortilla size), beans, green hot sauce*,
cabbage, drizzle of Short Rib sauce with some raisins. If you're lucky, snag one of the cooked ancho chiles or a jalapeño for extra deliciousness.

OK, I know this post is rather useless without pictures, but trust me on this one. OUT OF CONTROL good.

By the way, if you are a sick monkey and love super hot hot sauce, try my recipe for Ring of Fire hot sauce:
5 hot peppers (scotch bonnet, habanero) that are orange, yellow and red.
1 cup of cider vinegar
1 tbs kosher salt

heat vinegar and dissolve salt. add peppers. boil vinegar/peppers until very soft (15 minutes). Dump vinegar and transfer peppers carefully (this shit is HOT) to a small food processor. Add a little oil and water and a dash of salt and blend, baby blend. Let cool and watch as your friends enjoy some of the hottest hot sauce ever...and go back for more.

Wine Braves Long Ocean Journey

Like many a Latvian hooker, OCD is coming to America. AND, like those hookers, OCD is coming via shipping container, though there are no breathing holes drilled in our container. We've also had our container painted to attract as much attention as possible as we've been reading marketing books that suggest we should garner attention at all costs. In fact, the marketing book, called "Get Rich or Go To Jail" advocates a scorched-earth philosophy to marketing in the age of the 3 second attention span.  The theory is that if your not offending the minority, you'll never sell to the majority.  The theory behind this is of course the idea of the repressed id.  We all want to listen to the devil on our shoulder, but have been brutally socialized to keep those thoughts to ourselves.  That doesn't stop us from consulting our little id or privately enjoying some of his ideas and marketers often take advantage of this virgin/whore rift within our own psyche.  I'm not sure if it's the best idea for the long run, as we constantly erode the notion of a public personae in favor of getting attention - to wit, the high school principle with 2 out of 6 abs showing a hint of definition, posting a topless shot of himself on his myspace page thinking it'll up his cool factor (or he's just trying to have sex with minors like most mouth-breathing Y chromosoids).  Anywho - as we dismantle the fourth wall, normally called civility, in favor of a relentless and shameless quest for our life-justifying 15 minutes of fame, we as a society sacrifice shared goals.  How can you have a community when it's all about me?  Am I being a prude?  Perhaps.  Do I lament the fact that an an average night of television there are approximately 20,000 bleeps inserted by censors on shows watched primarily by a younger generation?  I do.  It suggests a reversion to brutality in some ways and represents a fire sale of our future.  The dumb will embrace this roughness thinking it de rigeur while the educated will realize it's just a way for the classes to continue to migrate in opposite directions and further their own ascension through education and discipline.

Back to OCD.  So what do we do?  We need attention to sell our wine.  However, taste is a funny thing, especially when held up to a personal litmus test:  all will judge differently based on their ethos.  How are we going to market this wine?  To what ends will we go to 'get that money' as is often rapped.  I'm torn.  A business has an edict to succeed at all costs.  The bottom line is just that, but one shouldn't have to exist on the bottom of the barrel to generate that bottom line.  We're hoping the people who enjoy our wine and our gestalt are just a bit smarter than that (with apologies for my prurient attention getting first line).

So how did we decorate that container?  We did need to get some attention after all and last I checked, the nicer jails had tennis courts, softball leagues, dining rooms, excellent security and television - all without the constant worry of bills or a mortgage.  Hell, in prison you look forward to opening your mail!  That sealed it for me: (scroll down)

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Sorry - image got yanked by a loyal reader who didn't want me to damage our brand image. If you'd like to see the image, simply email me at chris@communalbrands.com and I'll send it to you. Maybe my sense of humor is a bit over the top, but the world is a crazy place, no?

Intrepid OCD wine honcho braves third-world country

In a bold and dangerous move, characteristic of her fierce helmsmanship of OCD, Melissa Saunders finds herself this week in one of the worlds most blood-thirsty banana republics: New Zealand. Packing her trusty side kick, Mr. Machete, Melissa arrived two days ago to inspect our vineyards, oversee the bottling process and gamble on underground Koala bear fights. Vicious stuff!


Upon landing it was straight to the bottling plant to deal with a sitch. A serious sitch for which blame can be spread in an even schmear across several departments and subcontractors here at Communal Brands. Unfortunately the contrast between the the name of the wine and the label color was not enough to make it pop and thus created a serious legibility issue. Take a look for yourself:



This is all a bit more complicated than it sounds, for all of you who are saying, "string up the idiot who picked red on red!" Well, that could be true and an occasional stringing up is excellent for morale as we all know, but there are some mitigating factors that should be considered. All of the files were approved for print via email, and this allowed computer monitors to show the colors as they are calibrated - never an honest color portrayal. But we knew this much, what we didn't know was that when using a matte finish on our estate style labels, the colors tend to bleed or "blend" together a bit more than on glossier labels. We know now this, but that doesn't mean that printing 50,000 replacement labels is no big deal. It's a big deal. Hell, let's string someone up. Who wants to volunteer? Anyone? How 'bout a free OCD tee shirt and you've only got to be strung up for 3 days. The x-factor that is not being mentioned here because it may be too complicated to tackle right now is that we, the OCD kids, were toying with the wine's name right up to days prior to printing (I'll address this issue later) and there were several other timing issues that put an immense amount of pressure on DECIDING AND APPROVING RIGHT NOW!!!!!! I guarantee you we will not be in this position again.

After the stress of being in a third world country and dealing with a printing screw-up with bottling mere hours away, Melissa needed to wind down a little bit. She headed to her hotel and picked up her room key using this country's quaint cubby-hole key security system. The idea works like this: the key has a name indicated on the outside of the drawer. You must then figure out which room it belongs to. This way, if you lose your key, noone will know which door it opens. Kind of brilliant really. Here's the cubby-master, as it's called, at the hotel Melissa is staying at:



For those interested, Melissa has the "Influenza Powder" key which matched up to the "Eloper's Suite". Exciting stuff down there in New Zealand! Such an interesting land and peoples about which we here at Otto's Current Discussion, hope to reveal more of it's bizarre secrets as we continue on this journey.

That's all for today - I'm as buggered form writing about this as Melissa was from experiencing it. Hopefully she'll chirp a little about her Vineyard tour. I'm personally looking forward to it.

THM aka PK aka TC aka FRTC aka Chris

Welcome to Otto's blog

Soooooo, it's offiicial.  I've finally become relevant - new millenium style:  I've put solar panels on my dog and use him to charge my cell phone while on walks around  my neighborhood.  Man, the gangsters on the corner almost pissed themselves when they saw Frank (my pitbull) rolling down the block with a photovoltaic array on his head, back, and tail.  Sample mockery, "Yo, he look mad stupid, yo!!!  Who rocks that shit in public, yo??!!!??"  I later learned through a crackhead I'm friendly with that they were actually mocking the traditional Hmong knitted cap I was wearing (a momento of my South Asia adventure, thank you very much) and not Frank, who was happily loping along, charging my cell phone, oblivious to the mockery - or he probably knew they were busting on me.  

Anyway, this is tangential to what is really making me relevant:  I've started bringing my own bags to the grocery store in my transitional brooklyn nabe.  I am doing my part on a daily basis to reduce my carbon footprint and confound every cashier at the Super Foodtown: "You know the bags are free, right?"  Yes, Taneesha, I know the bags are free, but clean air isn't, you know.  "Whachoo mean?  Air is free, stoopid.  Do you have your club card?"  I never have my club card, but someone else usually lets me use theirs which is a win-win - I get the discounts and they get the points which after a year is usually enough to get a head of lettuce totally for free.  

Sorry - I am totally new to the blogging thing, which by the way is totally passé now that you've got to Twitter.  I'm starting to feel like my parents trying to program the VCR in '85.  Where was I, oh yeah, the previous two examples are evidence of my conscientiousness, not relevance.  Committing my thoughts to the binary library in the sky for all eternity is what makes me relevant...if people read it.  What a big if.  I guess the catharsis of writing is enough to make it worth while, but wouldn't some hate e-mail make it more worthwhile?  Or perhaps my blog entries will in some way make some kid with cancer want to persevere: "The Horse's Mouth would fight, [cough, cough...wheeze].  I'll take the llama bone marrow!  I just know we're a match! [sputter, cough, wheeze]."  That wasn't funny.  I know, I was just pandering to the hate mail people.  Would SOMEONE please acknowledge me?  

Right.  So this is a blog for our wine.  Our wine tastes good and like any wine, if you drink enough of it, you may become idiotic.  This is the area that my blog is going to focus on:  what fun can one have in any situation?  There's always something funny about a situation and my blog entries for OCD are going to try to find the humor in between the knock down, drag out fights we at OCD and Communal Brands are going to be having in making our dreams come true.  I also intend to talk about the creative process in designing our label and marketing in to the world at large, that is currently distracted by global badness - a perfect time for a laugh and a glass of our Pinot Noir.  More to come.